Private vs. public education, not an easy choice
Next year, my niece begins high school and I have been debating where to send her. Do I continue to send her to public school or does she make the jump to a private high school?
I like the teachers and support staff at the public school she attends now. I volunteer and attend PTSA meetings as often as I am able to do so. The parents that I have met while volunteering have been wonderful; we all share a common goal of ensuring that our kids stay on the right path.
At this point in her academic career, keeping in mind the educational cuts that continue to take place, would she be better off at a private school?
At first, my niece was not happy about the idea of changing schools. She hates nothing more than change and starting over. Reassuring her that everyone starts over in high school was not enough. So, we attended an open house at the private school.
We were warmly welcomed as we arrived and immediately paired with a student and a parent who gave us a tour and shared their point of view on the school. It was almost as if a warm and family-like environment seemed to emanate from everywhere we went. I have to admit, their hospitality alone made me want to send her to this school. As we made our tour, we met all of the faculty and staff, including the lunch lady.
Was there a difference between the local high school and this school? To date, each of the schools has a wide array of course offerings. But, would that change for the public school moving forward?
Some differences that caught my eye were:
1. Parents are required to volunteer a minimum of five hours per semester, all parents are active and involved in the student's life
2. 1,800 students at the public school vs. 400 students at the private school, a smaller setting offers more personalized attention with a smaller classroom
3. $0 tuition vs. $7,000+ tuition, clearly, will require major financial sacrifices
4. Two miles away vs. Two blocks away, an advantage if she participates in any after-school activities
5. Uniform vs. regular clothes, makes deciding what to wear each morning a breeze
6. High school placement test needed for the private school
As of now, we have not made a decision. However, after the tour my niece is open to the idea of attending the private school and has since discovered that some of her middle school buddies may also attend. Next, I would attend an open house at the public high school so that we can make a balanced and informed choice.
Do you have any opinions on attending a private school versus a public school? I'd like to know what you think.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by Stacey DuFord on Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 11:25 AM4 girls and 'New Moon'
My husband brought home the Golden Ticket and then confessed it had been sitting on his desk at work for nearly a week. I gasped. A week! We could have been holding it over our daughter's head - making her do chores, give us foot massages, etc. - for a week! Still, we did get a good couple days of Really Sincere I'll Clean Up The Kitchen gratitude in exchange for four passes for a 7 p.m. invitation-only viewing of "New Moon" the night before it officially opened.
My daughter chose three friends (Oh! The popularity!) and I offered to drive them home from the show so I could get the teenage girl review. They all agreed with most of the critics that "New Moon" is a better movie than "Twilight," the first in the series. They thought it was funny, too. "Funny on purpose?" I asked. S. compared it to the "Harry Potter" movies. "'New Moon' was the saddest book. And you know how they tried to make the 'Harry Potter' movies lighter and funnier when the books got scarier? It's like they tried to make this movie funnier so we'd forget all the sad stuff."
Um, OK.
The audience, they reported, was mostly women and girls with a curious row of 12-year-old boys high-fiving each other randomly right in front of them. There were also two men "in tuxedos" with notebooks, one in each corner, who left early (and who, upon further questioning from me, were discovered to be wearing suits not tuxedos).
Their three-word reviews:
"I liked it."
"It was funny."
"It was good."
"Best. Movie. Ever."
Now, for some reason, they all want to see "Punch Face."
Let's take 'the holidays' one holiday at a time
"The holidays" - a wonderful time of year, right? But just when do "the holidays" begin and end? I think they begin WAY too soon.
Don't get me wrong. I love holidays, the real ones - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. But jeez, why do we have to rush into them so soon? Halloween before Labor Day, Thanksgiving before Halloween and Christmas before we're done eating turkey. Then, as soon as Christmas or New Year's is over, everyone says they are sooooooooooo tired of "the holidays" and toss out their trees and rip down their decorations.
How about we slow down and enjoy them, one by one? I tell my kids we can't talk about Halloween until it's October. Our family looks forward to and relishes getting together on Thanksgiving day with cousins and aunts and uncles we see only once or twice a year. Then, it's on to Christmas. I admit to a little panic about Christmas-time shopping and get togethers, but mainly because there's so much buzz about them. But I try not to let that ruin that warm and wonderful time of year for us. We look forward to, not dread or find a chore, our get-togethers with family and friends and gift-giving and receiving. It's also a great time of year to make the effort to help others who don't have as much.
So when I step into Costco in September and find aisles of Christmas decorations and wrapping paper, I take a deep breath and look forward to a trip to the cider mill on a warm autumn day instead of freaking out about "the holidays."
I hope my boys follow my lead as they grow up and have their own families.
How about you? Do you start your holidays early or do you take them one at a time?
Category: Child care
Posted by Della Cassia on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 4:37 PMMommy chooses 'The Village' over daycare
When my husband and I decided to start a family, daycare was never an issue. Despite our busy lives and demanding careers, we knew our child will be well taken care of because my mother was going to watch her.
One week after returning to work following my maternity leave, my mother was diagnosed with acute leukemia and our lives were thrown upside down.
It took time to accept the new reality; time to readjust our plans and figure out what to do next. Putting our baby in daycare was not an option for us nor was giving up one of our jobs - not because of selfish/ grandiose reasons, but simply because of economics.
So, now what?
Amidst the turmoil of my mother's illness and juggling to meet our jobs' demands, a silver lining called "family and friends" emerged.
I never really understood the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" until this happened to me. Our families stepped up and offered to watch Aline while we went to work and ran back and forth to hospitals. We did not ask; it was a given. Even distant friends called and offered to babysit.
The generosity extended beyond babysitting. People stopped by and brought dinners because we were too busy to cook; others offered to grocery shop or run errands. Despite our stressful situation and the hurt and pain we were going through, the love of our families and friends made all of it a lot easier to endure.
The "village" grew even bigger when our respective employers allowed us the flexible time we needed to get through this phase of our lives.
During all of it, Aline did not miss a beat; she kept flourishing and growing - a healthy, beautiful, happy baby now 6 months old.
Today, our babysitting arrangement is as follows: Monday, Wednesday and Friday my husband's 20-year-old niece comes to our house and watches her; they play, go for walks, laugh, read books and even cuddle up for naps. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we take her to my husband's sister-in-law's, where she thrives in the company of four wonderful cousins, a great auntie and a friendly dog named Chalo.
Some people have challenged our arrangement, saying we should find a suitable daycare like everyone else does. I am not against daycare. There are many wonderful facilities out there that would take great care of my baby. Also, I am not one to heed statistics about how babies fare in daycares vs. at home, etc. I never paid attention to these things, nor would I ever want to.
For me, daycare is a great solution that will always exist should I need it. But for now, I have "the village" and it is a wonderful, caring and safe place for my daughter to grow in.
Category: Internet
Posted by Dianna Gutierrez on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:25 AMKeep an eye on kids on Web sites
Are you tracking your teen's Facebook or MySpace sites?
After dragging my feet for the past year, I finally allowed my 13-year-old niece to have Facebook page of her own. Of course, there were rules she had to follow:
First, she had to "friend" me, family and family friends. By adding these additional people I felt secure that if I was not able to be online consistently looking at what she or her friends were posting, there was someone I trusted who would keep an eye out for me.
Second, she is not allowed to friend anyone she does not personally know and she had to make her page private so that only people she knew could see her personal information.
Third, if anyone starts bullying her on the site, she has to immediately "un-friend" that person.
Fourth, she is to be conscious of the type of pictures she posts, nothing that could be construed as provocative. Finally, she is to spend no more than one hour a day on the computer for social means.
Last night, I took a tour of her site to make sure all was well. While I was not surprised at anything on her page, I was a little surprised to see some of the pictures her friends had posted. These pictures were a little too revealing and inappropriate for 13-year-old girls just in the eighth grade. I wondered if their parents were aware of what's on their sites.
Thankfully, my niece is very chatty - and I do mean chatty! She shares every single detail of what she's doing when she's online or offline. Not every kid is going to be so open. And, I am sure the fact that I am her aunt and not her mother raising her makes a difference.
These days, we all have busy schedules, so if you are not able to be on guard, ask someone who may spend more time on these types of sites to be on the lookout. Keep in mind, whatever they do on these sites now can be pulled up later in their life.
Category: Health
Posted by Megan Burleson on Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 9:55 AMBaby's first trip to ER is Mom's first lesson in sticking up for her child
Never did I want to bring my baby to an emergency room or have a reason to, but alas the time came when our baby just wasn't himself.
One day, L had a fever. We chalked it up to teething (since he is always teeting!), but when it got to 100.8 degrees and he was miserable, I called the doctor to make sure it was OK to give him Tylenol (because there is that rule about waiting until it gets to 101 degrees). L was so worn out from having the fever and just wanted to feel better. The doc gave me the go ahead, the baby fell asleep and all was well for a night.
The next day, he was acting strange. The fever never came back, but he was sleeping all day and really lethargic. This wouldn't have worried me, but his color was off. He was paler than usual and got worn out doing his usual baby things. We waited a day. By 6 p.m. the next day he hadn't improved so we called the doctor. The doctor told us to take the baby to an after-hours clinic right away. I didn't want some non-pediatrician doctor handling my child, so we took him the pediatric ER - the best one in the tri-county area.
L was OK for an hour of waiting, but when he is somewhere other than home for too long (and when he is usually asleep by 7 p.m.) he gets restless. Then restlessness turns into whimpering. Then whimpering turns into screaming bloody murder. Yes, folks, we waited in that waiting room for 2.5 hours until we got an exam room and by that time L was beside himself.
In the room, we took turns trying to calm him, but nothing worked. An hour later, the doctor showed up. The baby is screaming and confusion sets in. The doctor asks us questions, but she cannot hear our answers over the screaming. Suddenly, she leaves and two nurses are there trying to put an IV into our 5-month-old baby and horribly failing. The IV doesn't work, falls out and suddenly my baby's blood is everywhere. They decide to put on a bandage and tell us to go to X-ray and after they will do a spinal tap.
This, folks, is when I lost it. My baby is only lethargic. Why does he need X-rays and spinal taps? Why didn't the doctor tell us? Then I thought, I bet she is treating him for crying. They think we brought him in here because of the crying. Oh my god, they are going to do horrible things to him because he is tired and wants to go home!
I walk back into the exam room and tell them I am not budging until I talk to the doctor. I tell my husband to wait out in the hall with the baby (who is still screaming bloody murder). Five minutes later the doctor walks in.
"So, I called you in here to make sure you aren't treating him for crying."
"..."
"Why did you bring him in again?"
Yeah. So after explaining, again, that he was acting a little off and tired and that he gets this way when he is tired and somewhere other than home - she finally listens. The doctor still wants to do an X-ray so I agree to that, and tell her to hold off on the spinal tap until the blood work gets back (apparently they took blood while they were trying to put in an IV and I was so upset about having to hold my baby down I didn't notice) and if everything isn't OK we'll go from there.
A nurse comes in, gives L some Tylenol. L falls asleep on the bed. All is quiet again and he is sleeping beautifully with my husband and I on either side of the bed cuddling him. By this point, it's midnight and we are loopy. We start making jokes with each other and praying everything is OK and we just overreacted about him being tired.
An hour later, the doctor comes in and tells us everything looks beautiful - except his lungs. He has the beginnings of bronchiolitis and we should follow up with his pediatrician in a couple days. We all laugh about the situation, and the doctor tells us she has a child who does the same thing about being other places at bedtime. We take the baby home.
We follow up with our doc. Everything sounds fine. L's lungs were cloudy because of all the spit he had inhaled while he was screaming his head off. Sigh. No bronchiolitis. L is back to acting like himself and all is well.
So that was L's first visit to the ER. Thank god it was nothing! I will gladly pay a huge bill for nothing!
Category: Values
Posted by Mary Hickman Kruszewski on Sat, Nov 14, 2009 at 6:30 AMShare your love of local, small business
Perhaps it's old age or the economy, but more and more I find myself spreading the word about the small businesses I love and teaching my daughters to do the same. With the bombardment of mega-commercials (especially during the holiday season) even my daughters wonder about tag lines like "Save Money, Live Better" ("Mom, if we shop there will that really make our life better?"). So we've had some good conversations about how important it is to support businesses that are local and special to us - places that offer smaller settings with personal service, unique products and a face behind the company.
We love to save money as much as the next family (I admit we love Target), but at some point, you cross over to saying "what if" we don't have a choice? Will only the generic big box stores and million dollar Web sites survive? We choose to support our corner stores and local businesses!
So without plugging our favorites here (sorry to my girls who would love to give you their list) I ask that you, too, share the love about your favorite local restaurant, brick-and-mortar store or local service provider. Share with your children how important small business owners are to the fabric of your community. As a marketing consultant, I know the value positive reviews and endorsements can bring, so here is how you can help:
- Share your experiences on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and your blog
- Write a review on sites like yelp.com or citysearch.com
- Offer the company a testimonial of your experience with it
- Share e-mails or direct-mail special offers with friends and family
In the end, I want to teach my children about value, which isn't always about the lowest price. Value can also be the wonderful experience you have with the local businesses you love.
Category: Holidays
Posted by Rachael Isaacson on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 6:59 AMHello holidays, back so soon?
The sneaky little holiday season is creeping back already. Well, I am ready for you so bring it.
Bring on the Christmas music weeks before we have our Thankful Feast cause I'm listening!
Go ahead retail, woo me with your holiday cheer and door buster sales. I love it!
Go on neighbor, put up those lights so I can arrive home to some twinkling happiness.
Holiday food, you say? Yes please, and seconds. Weight Watchers will forgive me.
Stress can't hold me down!. We will buy what we can afford and make up the rest in quality family time, joy, and appreciation.
On this Thanksgiving, I have much to be thankful for, and thankful is exactly what I am. This is what I am choosing this holiday season: to count my blessings and teach my kids to do the same.
Could we use a new mattress? Yes, desperately so. But we have a warm bed to sleep in and I am grateful for it.
Do we need new windows? Someday, but the view out of our current ones is filled with beautiful houses with neighbors to match.
How about new clothes? I have lost 26 pounds - thank you very much - which has greatly expanded my wardrobe. I am quite thankful for that!
Toys? My basement (and living room and bedrooms and car, you name it) is covered in them. More toys the kids do not need.
This leaves room for the good stuff: appreciation of family and all of the little things that warm our hearts.
Like driving around and enjoying all of the lights. Or having hot chocolate after dinner with a family movie. Watching my kids fall in love with Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun just like I did. And teaching our kids that holidays are about celebrating the love that a family can create.
I do not care if this year ends without presents. I am truly grateful for the people in my life and am content to just celebrate our humanity, successes and contributions to one another.
No worries, though. The kids will also celebrate the wonder and excitement of unwrapping their presents while Mom and Dad sit back and smile at our beautiful corner of the world.
Category: Work-family balance
Posted by Beth Reeber Valone (The Detroit News) on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 5:10 AMMomGYB underscores importance of community
One of the things I love about the community of moms is that its members tend to be very supportive of one another. Have a bad day? Another mom will listen and boost your spirits. Need a solution to a problem? Another mom will not only give advice, but she'll jump right in and help you fix it. Need a contact? Just ask a mom, she'll hook you up.
So when I stumbled across three local mompreneurs on Twitter who eventually banded together to help other women like them be successful in business, I wasn't surprised but delighted.
The three amazing, inspiring women who make up MomGYB, which stands for Mom: Grow Your Business, have a passion for business and family. Each was balancing both on their own, but when they got to know each other better they found they could work even smarter if they worked together sometimes, too. So MomGYB was born.
Mary Hickman Kruszewski has her own marketing company and holds down the fort for her husband and two girls; Lara Galloway is a life coach and mom to three young ones and Melissa Lierman has done a little bit of everything while raising three kids, now running an online store for products made by stay-at-home moms as well as a business consulting firm. They pulled together their collective experience and expertise to help other moms save time, energy and effort.
All three have gotten pretty savvy at utilizing online tools and resources to best achieve their goals, so they decided to put together of series of workshops to help other women (and men) put them to use. I attended their first workshop about using Twitter to grow your business to get a sense of what these ladies had to offer. Boy, was I impressed! Not only do they know what they are talking about, they work together really well - no catty, competitive stuff here. They are very professional, but warm and open at the same time. Those are the kinds of business relationships I prefer.
The workshop was hands on with a follow-up Webinar a week later (in the evening, after most little ones were in bed) so participants had a chance to use the tools they learned and then ask more questions, share successes and failures and/or turn it up a notch. I know I learned a lot and others did, too. "I am so glad I took this class," said Sue Massucci of Murals by Massucci. "I learned far more than I ever expected. The MomGYB team is a professional, cohesive unit that has a wealth of knowledge."
MomGYB's next workshop is a Nov. 19 webinar on the power of e-newsletters. After that, they'll have in-person workshops and webinars on topics such as podcasting, blogging for business and Search Engine Optimization. For more information, check the MomGYB Web site.
As part of their business, the MomGYB partners also offer free consultations and great information through their Web site, e-newsletters and tweets. They are all about sharing, cooperating and getting it done.
These are the types of moms - in business and in life - I want in my circle. How do you get and offer support in yours?
Giving holiday gifts that keep on giving
I'm having a difficult time watching all of the holiday commercials this year. Since my husband lost his job over a year ago and I lost mine more than six months ago, and neither of us have been able to find new ones, to say our holiday budget barely exists would be an understatement.
The holidays are further clouded by the anniversary of my mom's death just before Christmas two years ago.
Christmas in the Happy family has always been a big event and without my parents and the security of a paycheck, it will take some re-inventing this year. I doubt our family is alone in exploring new and creative ways to enjoy the season while watching spending and planning cautiously in this uncertain economy.
One of my holiday reinventions is looking for presents that provide the biggest return for my spending. Memberships to local treasures like The Detroit Zoo, The Henry Ford and The Detroit Institute of Arts are perfect ways to say, "Happy Holidays!" Memberships to local attractions can be enjoyed all year and provide family fun long after the decorations have been taken down while supporting places in our community that provide experiences for our children that will last a life time.
