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Moving on!
Congratulations Jodie on making another decision! I have been reading your blog now for more than 1 year and as I will definitely miss it, I want you to know that I have smiled & laughed and yes, even teared up some. You have been an inspiration to me as I know I have been to others.
It is a good feeling to know that I/we are not alone!
Good luck with your next/final surgery Monday ~ as I said before, it's a piece of cake:) It has been a very long road for you, but be patient...this also will take time.
You go girl! and .....thank you.
Tear drop it is
Jodie,
Congratulations on making your decision! I think you will be very happy with this decision however, as you have experienced in the past...it is not an instant fix...just be aware.
I had my implants placed on 6/26 and up until now was not real sure I had made the right decision. But just the past few days, I am starting to see and feel the difference. From the beginning, I wore sports bras but after about 4 weeks of that (and feeling flattened down), I was given permission to move onto a real bra. I never thought I would say this, "but I was so happy to wear a bra again"!
I went to V/S, had someone measure me and bing...I had the perfect fitting bra, that gave me true form:) I know eventually (if I choose to), bras will not be necessary but until then...a bra it is and boy, it makes me feel very womanily again!
So once again, be patient with ner new ta-ta's! As every thing else, it takes time.
Good luck with your surgery!
Trapped in Time
Good morning Jodie!
As my time has not been as long as yours, my 1 year of being diagnosed is coming up (8/28). I do understand however, what you are feeling.
I remember going through the period of feeling like I was camping out at the doctor's office, the cancer center or sleeping on the couch wondering "will this ever end?". And it did for a few weeks until my mastectomy...then I started all over again, wondering "will I get through this?". But as time passed, I began to feel better than wham...another surgery (implants).
It was my understanding that once the implants were put in, I would feel total relief. Well with said, some days I do and some days I don't.
As I feel great (most of the time), I still do have those thoughts and feelings of "when will I feel normal again?"
I do believe Jodie, that we all have the same feelings! You just feel like it has been a long road, very long road perhaps, with a lot of curves and bumps! One day, I know and believe, that we will all feel like a SURVIVOR and CAN and WILL share our stories to anyone who wants to listen:)
Hang in there girl! You are an awsome woman!!
PS - what did you decide on your implant style?
More waiting, More decisions.....
Jodi,
Perhaps it was me that you read about the tear-drop implants! I did choose to do them, texture vs smooth, they are style "410MF". They are Silocone and I was told the chances of them rotating were slim because of the texture.
Of course, nothing is a guarantee!
I'm sure you will come to a decision soon. And just so you know, this surgery is a very simple one! It is out-patient, takes about 3 hours and you are up and at 'em right away.
My surgery was 6 weeks ago and am still feeling some tightness and numbing. I was told it could take up to 6months...ugh! Therefore, I am looking forward to the new year, 2010.
Wishing you the best of luck...I will continue to read your thoughts, keeping track of you.
Expanders
Jodi:
After reading your last entry, I know what you mean! I have been following you for some time now and have placed a few comments back. I will tell you, I had a bi-lateral (both) mastectomy in February and thought I would never be the same. I also then, started the expanding process...and ouch! You are right...it is not a very pleasant feeling. The pain is not a hurtful pain, just very uncomfortable...tightness to no end! I had 6 injections with a total of 440cc's and with each one, I feared the numbing process to the sight of the HUGE vile of saline to the day after. You just feel like you have 2 large lumps on your chest...hoping you don't run into anyone (or a wall for that matter), fearing that you may knock them over dead:)
I just had my implants put in...I had the new ones (not FDA approved yet, but soon to be)...I think they are H310's?? Anyway, they are the same as the ones (soon to be of the past) but they are 'tear' dropped rather than big and round! It was a very simple, easy out-patient surgery ~ about 3 hours worth. But I felt great...nothing compared to the mastectomy recovery. I would say the worst part of it was having the drainage tubes (again).
I am yet to feel total comfort and total happiness at the sight of my new breasts, but I know it will take some time. It is such a dramatic process over a very long period of time. I am yet to have my nipples built on (could not be done at the time of implant surgery due to the location of my incision), but I am hoping once that is done and complete ~ probably Septemberish, I will be feeling good again...like a new PERKY woman:)
Wishing you the best...hang in there...no punt intended!
Grey's Anatomy
Hey Jodie! I know and understand what you mean about watching last week's episode however, it seems the word "CANCER" comes up everywhere. I remember when I was first diagnosed (8/08), I had just bought a new book and no where on site, did it say anything about cancer. I got into about the 3rd Chapter, and 'wham' the lady has BC! Got through it, sometimes not wanting to finish it. So the next book I bought, I was a little bit more cautious . . . spot checking . . . well it's a good thing I do not proofread for a living:) . . . halfway through the book, 'bam', the lady has BC! Ugh . . . what is it???
I guess it is just something that we all have to live with, the rest of our lives.
I wrote back in April, it is now May. My expanders are totally expanded and today, I re-visit my Plastic Surgeon to get my Implant Surgery date! I am hoping for 7/2 for the long weekend!
I wish you lots of luck next week! You will do great!!!
And PS - your hair looks wonderful!
Reconstruction
Hey Jodie! Glad to have you back. . . I look weekly for your new entries and have missed you.
As I have said in the past, I was diagnosed with Stage III BC in August 2008. I chose to do the chemo treatment first as the doctors felt it was an agressive growing tumor (2.8). I then had a bi-lateral mastectomy on 2/9/09 and am currently going through the process of reconstruction. I chose to have the expanders rather than the other types for a couple of reasons 1) I felt I was too young (47) to have major scars either on my back and on my stomach and 2) the recovery period was much quicker.
I will say, I am very happy with my choice however I will also say ... recovery from the surgery, the feelings of the reconstruction and the expanding has been much rougher and tougher on me mentally and physically that the whole chemo treatment period! It's crazy. I think it is because I knew after chemo that I would feel good a few days following treatment for a few weeks but with this, I have felt down and out, tired and stressed, etc for the past 7 weeks.
I am half way to the new me:) The 2nd and final surgery (removing the expanders and receiving the implants) will be late June/early July! Then I will only have the tattooing done in September and I will be done (hopefully) . . .
Please, please do not feel guilty for feeling good! You and I, and the rest of us out there will all have our chance to be feel good and be PROUD that we survived the journey!
Best of luck to you and and welcome back!!
Holidays
Jodie,
Glad to hear your 2009 Holidays were very enjoyable! Also glad to hear that you remain positive, and look forward to a better year.
I am looking forward to (with great pleasure), my last treatment this week! I will then be on the road to "the fear of the unknown" (again), anticipating my surgery date.
Thank you for your postings . . . they give me hope, knowing that I am not the only one going through this.
And please note: You are beautiful no matter how long or short your hair is:)
Worries . . .
Jodi,
I can totally understand your concerns and worries on a day to day basis. I too, have those feelings. Each and every time something feels or looks wierd, I worry! I am having my 5th of 6 chemo treatments tomorrow (yee-haw) but my worry is finding out my MRI and Genetic Test Results. I am hoping for the best but of course, I AM WORRIED! I then will have to worry about my surgery decision! I knew it was coming, but up until now I could put it in the back of my mind . . . the time has come, another worry!
I guess it is just a common human habit.
On the brighter side, I congratulate you for getting through your treatments/surgeries and still standing strong!
Thank you again, for all of your support and advise to all of us!
Paranoia
Jodi,
I am new to your blog through a mutual friend (Erin B). I was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer on 8/28/08 at the age of 46 and have completed 3 "FEC" treatments. I was also found positive with the HER2 Receptor and also receiving that treatment. Reading your blog from start to finish, has not only inspired me but made me realize that I am not the ONLY one in the world suffering with this traumatic disease!
You are truly a great person and everyone around you, supporting you is an amazing thing! Thank you for your time and effort in sharing your life:)
Keep your head up high! As I say to myself "tomorrow is another day and will be a better one!"
Take care,
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