Dad Talk

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Sun. 10/11/09 12:56 AM

Kids need both parents

Larry,

In my personal case your reference to "The children have a right to parenting time unless the court determines on the record by clear and convincing evidence that parenting time would endanger the children's physical, mental or emotional health [MCL 722.27a]" is most relevant.

There were physical, mental and emotional health issues with my ex-wife that were so overwhelming that I was awarded full physical and legal custody of my children. Since my divorce I made ongoing concerted attempts to try to keep their mother in my son's lives, during the last year she barely recognizes their existance.

I agree totally with the fact that kids need both parents, and that there are many issues with our court system. In my case MCL 722.27a worked the way it was intended. For that I am grateful.

I continue to hope and pray that my children's mother will become healthy enough to once again be part of their lives and understand how much they miss sharing life with her.

WestMIDadof2, Kalamazoo, MI

Living with the reality of an emotionally ill or addicted parent is a difficult challenge in any family dynamic, intact or divorced. You're doing a phenomenal job loving your son's through this and teaching them how to love their mom while still keeping appropriate boundaries to not take on those aspects of her struggles that remain hers to resolve and prayerfully, she will resolve them.

I've herd it said, and I believe it, that love is an action word. Press on my friend, you are a bench mark in what a dads love for his children, and a man of integrity, truly looks like.

Larry

Fri. 02/29/08 11:02 AM

Dads are equally important

Larry,

Thanks for your recent post.

I agree that as a father society has placed a lower level of expectation on our ability to nurture and bond with our children.

I truly believe that the key factor in bonding is the amount of time a parent, sibling or day care provider is with the child in a loving, supportive and nurturing way, be it a man or a woman. Love is universal.

I'm sure there are tons of studies that can be cited on children or adults who are isolated without human contact for periods of time and how it affects their lives and impacts their future interactions.

Just as men can't be lumped together and categorized, neither can women. Bonding and nurturing is one-on-one with a child. Each individual is different.

In my case, my ex-wife couldn't handle pro-longed periods of parenting and nurturing. The stronger bonds that developed with my two boys were (in order) myself, my mom (grandma), babysitter, then my wife.

I have full custody of my boys, due in many ways to their bonding with me.

Fri. 01/11/08 02:48 PM

Fathers Conference

Dear Larry,

Thank you for posting the information regarding the 8th Annual Midwest Fathers Conference on Jan. 26. I hope all father's will check out the Web site at www.partnershipfordads.org

Since meeting you Larry, I have learned more from you then from anyone else about what it means to put your child in the center of your world. I wish my father had the same love and compassion that you do for your son.

I'm sure that this conference will be a success and show others the type of work that committed fathers like you do everyday to lead the charge for change.

I have learned so much from you. Your son will grow up to be quite a loving, caring and considerate man thats to your parenting. He's smarter, outgoing and more well-balanced then many many children of his age.. that come from proper parenting.

Despite the challenges we all face when parents are seperated, the pettiness, bickering, issues of control or manipulation that occur.. the parents need to truly look in the mirror and ask themselves... "How am I hurting my child". I think if they honestly answer that, they'll find that those type of actions cause more harm then good. That later in life their child will resent them, rather then adore them. We as parents need to follow Larry's example and focus on the child and the child's needs first and foremost and do what's in their best interest.

To learn more about this I hope you attend the conference and keep an open mind. I plan on attending. Thanks again Larry. If the Partnership For Dads has a "Father of the Year", I'd nominate you for it.

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