Blog posts by category: School
Category: School
Posted by Kevin OShea on Sat, Sep 12, 2009 at 8:39 AMDads present and accounted for at school
Last night was the Ice Cream Social at my sons' elementary school. While many parents also attended the flag raising on the first day of school, the social is traditionally the first time parents have a chance to greet each other and welcome new faces after the long summer break.
We had a huge turnout of families enjoying the ice cream, popcorn, face painting, DJ and giant inflatables. I was stationed at the latter all evening, where I spent most of my time patrolling to prevent little vandals from turning off the moon bounce to enjoy the shrieks of the little ones as the roof collapsed.
I love the social because it confirms one of the great things about our school: dads are interested and involved. And even the fathers who are neither (for whatever reason) are still present. It makes a strong impression when you look across a crowd of families and see fathers everywhere. The people who notice it the most are our children. They're thrilled to have Dad along, and they absorb the message that the Ice Cream Social (or whatever event it might be) is important and their school is important, too.
Fellow dads, even in these tough times when many of us are struggling to find time for ourselves, let's commit to being present at our children's schools this year. That means being there for social events, PTA meetings, curriculum nights, open houses and (of course) parent-teacher conferences.
If some of us can also find time to be interested and involved, that's great. Whatever we can manage, it all starts with being there in the first place.
Category: School
Posted by Kevin OShea on Thu, Aug 28, 2008 at 7:42 AMBack to school for dads, too?
As a full-time father, I've spent many hours volunteering in my children's schools and serving on (or chairing) PTA committees. I've commented before on the relative absence of fathers in school, but an article in the current issue of Instructor magazine (written for elementary school teachers) does a better job than I ever could of defining the problem.
Kyle Pruett, a professor at Yale and a fomer keynote speaker at the Midwest Fathers Conference, is quoted as saying that "Many men, myself included, do not feel welcome in schools. There are no posters on the wall or magazines in the front office that make me feel like this is my place."
Why is this? "The schools say the fathers don't come because they're so busy, they're working," Pruett says. "And the fathers say, 'Nobody asks, of course I'd come.'"
Ron Klinger, founder of the nonprofit Center for Successful Fathering, says he faced resistance when he began running school-site fathering workshops in the 1990s. "We discovered that school teachers actually preferred to have mothers there rather than the fathers. Who knows why?" He provides the answer: "Schools are matriarchal."
For sure. Women outnumber men on PTA membership roles 9-1, and moms were nearly three times more likely than dads to volunteer at school. (In single-parent families, mothers were only slightly more involved than fathers.)
This father absence is a shame, because fathers' presence in schools can do wonders for kids. "We know that when fathers are positively engaged in children's lives, a lot of positive things happen," according to Pruett. "They are better behaved. They do better in school. They are less likely to use physical violence." Plus, children with fathers who are involved at school are more likely to get better grades, participate in extracurricular activities, and they are less likely to be disciplined.
What's your take? Are you involved at your children's school? Why or why not? What about your fellow dads? And most importantly, what can schools do to make it more likely for fathers to become involved members of the school community?
Category: School
Posted by Chris Edwards on Sun, May 18, 2008 at 11:45 PMLearn something new by asking new questions
We had a sweet event at my children's school recently. It's called Donuts with Dudes, and I'm happy to say that more schools are having events like it. Dads come in to share sweet treats with their kids before school as a way to get more dads into school and single out their presence as important to the kids and the school community.
At our school, we put little pieces of paper on the table, with blue strips having questions that dudes (dads or other significant men who attend) ask kids, and yellow ones for kids to ask dudes. They get some neat conversations going, as adults and kids learn some things they might not have expected to while loading up on sugar.
Below are a few samples as possible starters for anyone who might want to start a conversation with an elementary-aged child who gives one-word answers to the classic "How was school today?":
Dudes to kids:
What do you look forward to most about the summer vacation coming up?
What's the most fun thing you've done in school this year?
Of all the nice things someone could say about you, which one would make you feel best?
What's your very favorite food?
If this Saturday you could do absolutely anything in the world you wanted to do, what would you do?
Who's your biggest hero? Why?
If you could have any one magical power, what would you pick?
What do you think is the best part about being an adult?
What's the first thing you do in class each day?
If you could magically either talk to animals or see the future, which would you pick?
Kids to dudes:
Can you guess who my two best friends are?
What was your favorite subject in school at my age?
What's something you really liked to do with your dad?
Who was your favorite teacher in elementary school? Why?
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Do you think kids have it better now than you did?
Did you usually walk or ride your bike to school?
What was your favorite thing to do at recess?
Even though I drew up the questions, when I sat down to ask my own kids, I learned a couple of new things, as did they about me. We don't have to wait for special occasions to ask new questions of each other, and sometimes marvel at the answers.
Category: School
Posted by Kevin OShea on Mon, Dec 3, 2007 at 12:13 PMThe male teacher shortgage
Did anyone else see the story in today's Detroit News about the shortage of male teachers, especially at the elementary school level? I think it's interesting that the number of male teachers has actually gone down in the past 30 years.
My two older children have male teachers (one is in middle school and the other is in elementary school), and the dynamic is very different than with a female teacher. I think it's great for kids to be exposed to a variety of teaching styles and I think it's important for boys to have role models during the day. Elementary schools tend to be primarily female environments and the presence of some men can send a positive message about the importance of education to boys and girls alike.
Have any other dads had expereinces with male teachers (or the lack of male teachers) they can share?
Category: School
Posted by Aaron Hightower (The Detroit News) on Fri, Sep 7, 2007 at 12:42 PMMake room for Daddy
I remember watching an episode of The Bernie Mac Show where Bernie took the kids to school and was met with stares from the moms of other kids. They stared because they were used to seeing only moms bringing kids to school and chatting a bit afterward. By the end of the episode, Bernie proved to be just as good a kids-school-bringer as any woman.
That episode rang through my mind as I took my kids to school on the first day. As I approached the playground, the Bernie Mac stares started. The crowd of kids and moms parted like the Red Sea making room for me and my kids as if they never seen a man holding his kids' hands before.
Even the teachers paused and watched as we stared back wondering what the big deal was. At first, I started to yell, "WHAT Y'ALL LOOKING AT?!" But I remembered that I was with my children. So I ignored it and let it simmer down. One by one, moms would peel away from their normal conversations with other moms, about how they found inexpensive school supplies, to strike up a conversation with me. Each one would eventually ask where the kids' mother was. I'd smile and say, "At home."
So today, I noticed four more dads bringing their kids to school and four fewer moms in their chatting group. I met these dads and we created our own group. We talked about the Shock, the Pistons, the Lions and, yes, how expensive school supplies are. We continued talking until the kids were in their classes and wives started calling from home.
"I'll see you guys Monday," my new friend, Steve, said with a laugh.
Yes, you will, my friend. And if you are reading this, bring that basketball autographed by Isiah Thomas. I'd love to see it.
Category: School
Posted by Kevin OShea on Fri, Jun 29, 2007 at 9:28 PMFirst male PTA president: A real revolution?
You may have heard about Chuck Saylors, a South Carolina dad who has done something no man has done in history: lead the National PTA, which began as the National Congress of Mothers. He will become president of the venerable organization after a two-year stint learning about the job as its president-elect.
"Being the first man, I don't think it's hit me yet," the 47-year-old father of four told reporters.
After almost 20 years of volunteering at his children's school, Mr. Saylors became president of the PTA's South Carolina branch two years ago. He hopes his high profile will inspire other men to join the group. Too often, he says, men see education and parental involvement as something for women.
I have been active in the PTA at my children's school for several years, so I applaud Mr. Saylors and his achievement. The National PTA has been engaged in an effort to get fathers more involved for years. But the truth is that the group has been motivated less by a sudden desire to embrace diversity than by a growing membership crisis. The number of PTA chapters, and the number of parent members, has plunged in recent years. Things are so bad that only a quarter of school-based parent groups are PTAs. The rest are now PTOs, independent groups with no connection to state or national PTAs. Some of the reasons more parent groups are opting to disassociate themselves from the PTA include rapidly increasing dues (my daughter's school pays about $1,500 a year in dues to the state and national PTAs) and lobbying by the organization against charter schools.
So while I hope Mr. Saylor will bring a much-needed male point of view to an organization that started as a mother's club (and has remained that way in many places), it may not be quite the cause for celebration the media is claiming. If the PTA was really interested in greater diversity, its members would have elected a man as president a long time ago.
Category: School
Posted by Kevin OShea on Tue, Jun 19, 2007 at 11:36 AMGet dads more involved at school
Now that summer vacation is in full swing, I can't help but reflect on the absence of fathers in most of our children's schools. Did you know that the most important factor determining whether a child does well in school is the level of his or her father's involvement? This is true even in families with an involved mother and those without a father living at home. Yet at most schools very few fathers are actively involved in the classroom or with parent organizations.
My own three children attend public schools in Birmingham. Several years ago, one of the fathers in our district started a dads club at his son's school. His hard work made it so successful that he has expanded it (with the enthusiastic support of our administrators and principals) into a districtwide program. But our district remains exceptional in this regard.
Why are relatively few dads involved at their children's schools and what can we all do to make it easier for them to become involved?
Category: School
Posted by Rod Beard (The Detroit News) on Sat, Sep 30, 2006 at 8:56 PMLeaving them to their devices
Now that my oldest son is in third grade, I can see how much he has matured in his eight years. That being said, he has a long way to go still.
While I was at his school's open house last week, his teacher said something I thought was unusual -- let them be more responsible. The days of giving them their homework packets are gone -- they have to write down their own assignments in their planners. For the first time, he gets to switch classes instead of staying in the same homeroom all day. So, he has work from science, social studies and math in addition to his language arts.
It's hard to let go because we have to balance the parental urge to help make sure our children earn all A's with the need to let them learn to do things on their own. Sure, we still check his work after he does it, but he also has to check to be sure that he doesn't make obvious errors and to make sure he actually turns it in to the teacher.
He's already had days where he's forgotten his homework at home, left his lunchbox in his locker and didn't ask for help when he needed it. But I guess he'll be better off for it because he realizes his mistakes and he knows he'll have to eat school lunch if he forgets the one he makes for himself.
All this makes my wife a little worried because she doesn't want his grades to suffer because of the growing pains, but the independence will pay off down the road -- or at least, that's what we're hoping.
