Category: Media
Posted by Kevin OShea on Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 1:59 PMAre 'deadbeat dads' a reality?
We're familiar with the term "deadbeat dads." I've long felt it's unfair to paint any fathers who might be behind on child support (or contesting a child support order) as "deadbeats," regardless of their circumstances. Yes, there are dads who refuse to meet their obligations to help support their children, but there are also many fathers who can't make ends meet through no fault of their own.
Now comes the Lifetime cable channel with a new reality show called (what creativity!) "Deadbeat Dads." The idea is to track down and ambush men who are behind on their child support payments and then get them to pay by any means necessary. At least one fathers advocacy group has organized a protest, encouraging viewers and others to call, fax and/or e-mail Lifetime Television executives in protest. The plan has a chance of succeeding: a similar effort last year convinced Fox Television, the originator of the show (then called "Bad Dads") to drop it from its schedule.
The fact that the show is now on Lifetime, a network well known for its programming targeted at women, has raised some hackles. So has the potential effect of the show on the children involved. One critic says "The worst part about 'Deadbeat Dads' is the way it publicly humiliates children of divorce by depicting their fathers as not loving or caring for them. These children did not volunteer to be humiliated on national television."
So what do you think? Are dads who fail to pay child support fair game, or does "Deadbeat Dads" go too far? And does the timing of the show (in the middle of a painful recession in which many more fathers are losing their jobs)add insult to injury?
Comments
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Deadbeat Dads
I just stumbled on this blog and I am glad that I did!! I am one of the fathers that the Michigan FOC IS trying to rob blind as if I have no say in the matter. They have awarded an increase of support to my ex wife and gave me 21 days to object ( which of course I did). They have already reduced my support because my oldest child is 18.( I have three kids).They 'recomended' an amount 3 times what I was paying to begin with. I agree with ALL the dads who wrote in. I take it one step further and say that we should mothball the whole system and make another one. It is clear that the FOC has no intention of playing fair when it comems to fathers and their rights. life time should be ashamed of themselves; feeding more fuel to the stigma that fathers are not needed and that somehow we don't care about our children.
Fair and equal treatment is what is needed. I COVER ALL THE health insurance for the children but get nothing in return. My ex went after me for education expenses; the children are homeschooled( my tax dollars don't pay for that)!
A complete overhaul of the system is needed. Michigan FOC needs to get their heads out of the sand and come to reality.
just plain mad-c'ville, va
Deabeats Dads or misandry?
You’re preaching to the choir here Brother O’Shea. As a dad who has been abused for over ten years by the Grossly unprofessional lackeys at the Ottawa Country Friend of the Court I could tell you stories of asinine leaps of logic that only a bureaucrat could make.
I have been insulted in open court for “not earning more”, while my daughters Convicted felon Mother who’s not held a job more that 90 days is never expected to provide a dime, or even the appearance of earning a dime. I have had my visitation withheld, denied and at times gone almost a year without even knowing where my daughter lived or went to school. But through all of this I’ve fought. I’ve demanded my rights to be with my child and I’ve demanded the court enforce “Her” rights to be with her father. And in the End, I have prevailed.
I have now had full legal and physical custody of my daughter for almost 7 months. She’s So far behind in school that it will take years and untold thousands of dollars in counselor fees, tutor fees and untold hours to bring her up to grade level. But, my little girl and I are happier than we have ever been.
For the first six and a half months that I’ve had her FOC has still deducted child support from my wages (even though I had no arrearage or fees owed to the state). They have still not assessed her mom to pay support to me and only after the threat of legal action did they finally relent and stop taking support payments out of my pay (two weeks now of getting my full pay, I feel rich). Had I ever gone even 90 days without paying the FOC would slap me with a show cause order. Yet, her Mom hasn’t paid a dime in going on seven Months. Nor has she attempted to see our Daughter.
Men default on their child support at a rate of just over 20%. However, when women are ordered to pay support (usually at much lower percentages than men making the same income would be ordered to pay) women default at a rate nearer to 90%. Who are the real deadbeats? Perhaps a show called Deadbeat Moms or Misandry at the FOC would be more appropriate titles.
The entire FOC system in Michigan is so polluted that only a complete dismantling of the corrupt system could possibly bring about any positive change for Fathers.
"Deadbeat Dads"
Kevin,
Great post with some very thought provoking comments already made. I think "deadbeat" is a presumptive term. Those who use it are typically ignorant of the labyrinth called FOC and the process by which arrearages and therefore"deadbeats" are manufactured. It is doubling insulting to be considered a deadbeat upon being laid off. In my experience growing up as well as those of my peers when our families had financial struggles for one reason or another spending changed. We did not have funds to go to the movies, buy unneeded things. The flow of money to and for us children shifted. It is remarkable to me that the FOC does not appear to be understanding the ways that families function when they do not modify support in the face of economic down turns. Dad still has to produce the same amount of child support even though his job has been eliminated and shipped overseas. Just one of the many ways "Deadbeats' are created.
there is no reality in "Deadbeat Dads"
Right on! 80% of fathers are up-to-date with child-support often without the same courtesy of reasonable and unimpeded access by mothers according to court orders. Nevertheless, among the remaining 20% there may be some "bad dads" but mostly they represent working-class men who either filed to appear due to anger, neglect or ignorance of any summons and got stuck with an totally unreasonble child support based on questionable evidence. If they are laid off, get ill or suffer any injury or disability it is almost impossible to get a varience. Providing suitable tax records only occurs in May/June and then summer intervenes pushing likely court dates into late Fall/early Winter, then a lawyer is often needed. Once arrears begin to accumulate Maintenance Enforcement only required 60 days to de-register a drivers licence. If you need to drive to work you are out of luck, and there are heavy fines for getting caught driving without a license.
This is the downward sprial that many good and loving fathers find themselves on. We had such a case last yaer and a 31 yr old man ended up taking his own life. How does that help his children in the future?
This show should instead be looking at how men suggle and cope with these indignities and the legal system that continues to victimize men for no other reason that they found themselves divorced/seperated, disabused of their children, temporarily out of work, ill or injured.
"Deadbeat Dads" show
Mr O’Shea,
I read your article and felt the need to chime in with my own thoughts. I grew up without my father, due solely to my mother’s need to hurt him, by denying him my company. She never considered how it made ME feel.
I bring this up in relation to child support and Lifetime’s new series “Deadbeat Dads” as my mother went after my father for every dime of child support she could get, but tossed out every card he sent me, every gift he tried to get to me, and every offer for him to visit with me.
And, my father’s next wife did the same thing to him when they divorced. Both women are from very different backgrounds and socioeconomic levels. My father was not a bad man, in fact I have gotten to know him since my mid/late 20’s and love the guy.
What bothers me so much about this show is the one sided attitude it displays. Is there next show going to be on mothers who utilize the “safe haven” laws " wherein a mother leaves a child with a hospital, fire station, or police station and legally disposes of her responsibilities both emotional and financial? Is that show “Abandoning Moms” going to ambush moms who want to give up their children for adoption? I would find either idea abhorrent " those mothers make a heart wrenching decision. But fathers who are not involved in their children’s lives are fair game? And that’s not a double standard …. How exactly?
Where is the show “Vindictive Moms” where women who deny visitation are ambushed by cameras to humiliate them? Or is that a little too much “reality” for their reality show idea.
The idea of this show may make women who are single mothers “feel good”, but not if the shoe was on the other foot. In short, it’s a vindictive smear campaign that only tells one side of the story " and to be sure they will cherry pick the fathers they go after. You’ll not see the father living in a decrepit basement rental while mom lives in relative ease in the suburbs. You’ll not see the man who works 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet, whose Ex denies him visitation, and a man who doesn’t have 2 dimes to rub together to go to court to request a downward modification of his child support after losing his job due to the economic downturn, and him not getting it.
It’s an ugly and one sided idea that only Lifetime could love.
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