Ask the Child Psychologist Forum

Mon. 08/10/09 07:13 PM

Frustrated 11 1/2 yr. old son

Hi,

I have an 11 1/2 yr. old son who is getting frustrated easily in sports & in life. He is also prone to crying. He does not want to do anything that requires work. ( iam cutting into his time when he has to do anything) He also seems to expect to be the best at everything. When it does not happen easily or quickly he slams things down & starts tearing up. I have tried talking to him, coaching him, letting him stand on his own, etc. Is this a phase? How do I work with him?

Thanks,

Martha

mart, Southfield, Michigan

Hi Martha,

Without knowing him, I can't determine if this is "a phase." From your description, one might address perfectionism that is usually wrought with unrealistic beliefs. Sounds like some work on coping skills maybe in order as well. I am a big fan of ongoing problem solving based discussions outside of the emotion of the situation. Brainstrom ways one can handle these situations. Sometimes, a trained cognitive-behavioral therapist can help to rework belief systems and developing healthier ways of handling frustration.

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