Category: Learning abilities
Posted by Kim Waters on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 3:45 PMGifted children often present quirks, school challenges
Does your child complain about being bored at school? Has he or she been thought of as lazy, unmotivated or not working to his or her potential? Is your child emotionally intense, oppositional and defiant toward you and other adults? Does your child show signs of perfectionism, avoiding tasks that he is afraid he cannot do well the first time they are presented? Does she complete her homework but fail to turn it in the next day? Is she very bright but bringing home average to poor grades? Does he have severe sensitivities that cause him to cover his ears, cut the tags out of his clothes or avoid whole categories of foods? Is she struggling with peer relationships, but able to carry on highly sophisticated conversations with adults? You might have a gifted child.
Gifted children are different from their nongifted peers. Despite the popular misconception that gifted children are so smart that they will have no problems academically or otherwise, gifted children can face a host of challenges. This can create unique situations in parenting and teaching.
Think of the bell curve. Most of us fall in the middle with average intelligence. We all recognize that children with low intelligence that fall at the far left end of the curve need special support academically and emotionally to help them meet their full potential. What many people fail to consider is that gifted children fall at the other far end of the bell curve and they need special support academically and emotionally to help them meet their full potential.
Gifted children who are not in an appropriate educational setting often refuse to do school work that they feel is repetitive and that they have already mastered. They may act out in class and are frequently accused of not paying attention. While gifted children can have attention problems, one must consider the whole child and look closely at gifted traits vs. true ADHD. Gifted children are prone to anxiety, as they often have advanced awareness of what is happening around them but may not have the emotional maturity to handle the information. For example, a gifted 4-year-old may be able to read the headlines of the newspaper but will be frightened by the information.
Many gifted children are perfectionists. This may not always show up in neatness, but rather as avoidance. Think of the gifted student who brings a host of personal knowledge to school and knows many if not all of the answers without needing to learn anything new. Imagine when he hits middle school and is put into a foreign language class - for the first time he is being presented with something of which he has no prior knowledge and this can often lead to anxiety and school work refusal.
Additionally, gifted children can have learning disabilities; these students are often called twice exceptional, being gifted and having a disability. They require even more specialized academic planning and emotional support.
Gifted children are often more difficult to parent, too. Gifted individuals are independent thinkers and are less likely to comply with authority figures just because they are authority figures. Parents are often frustrated by the fact that traditional parenting strategies may not be effective. While independent thinking will likely serve the child well as an adult, it makes it difficult to parent them. More positive nondirective parenting strategies are often highly effective. Love and Logic and Collaborative Problem Solving are two such strategies.
So if you know or think your child may be gifted, seek guidance and support from qualified individuals who are familiar with typical behavior in gifted children. With the right educational and social emotional support your gifted child can thrive and you can enjoy them.
Kim Waters, M.S., L.L.P, is a limited licensed psychologist at the Child and Family Solutions Center in Farmington Hills. One of her specialties includes assessment and treatment of social and emotional issues in children related to giftedness..
