The 10 worst venue names in America
What's in a name?
A whole lot of ick, when it comes to our nation's ultra-corporatized arenas, stadiums and amphitheaters.
If you still think DTE Energy Music Theatre doesn't quite roll off the tongue, it's practically poetic compared to some of the this-is-so-stupid-it-needs-a-nickname marquees that have sprung up in the last decade-plus.
Here are the 10 clunkiest, worst-named venues in America.
10. Energy Solutions Arena, Salt Lake City, UT
I'm not a doctor of electricity, but here's one helpful energy tip: DON'T BUILD AN ARENA.
9. Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, SC
Was Big Lots Center already taken?
8. Amway Arena, Orlando, FL
Imagine the surprise when people learned it wasn't shaped like a pyramid.
7. Superpages.com Center, Dallas, TX
If you're going to name your arena after a Web site, at least make it one that people actually use, like Amazon.com or Hollywood Elsewhere. Who uses Superpages.com?
6. Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, NC
No many how many hours of endless enjoyment they offer, people uniformly HATE their cable companies, and don't want to spend any more time dealing with them than they have to. Are events here loosely scheduled in a 6-hour window during your workday?
5. PETCO Park, San Diego, CA
One word for this stadium name: WOOF!
4. (Tie) Minute Maid Park, Houston, TX and Tropicana Field, Tampa Bay, FL
Orange you glad we didn't say Tang Stadium?
3. Jobing.com Arena, Glendale, AZ
Again, what is Jobing.com? Apparently it's an employment Web site. They'd have been better off going with the IMDB Center.
2. Taco Bell Arena, Boise, ID
Hope they've got plenty of bathrooms.
1. Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, RI
The only thing worse would be if it was the Dunkin Donuts/ Baskin Robbins Center.
Review: Lil Wayne, 'Rebirth'
Lil Wayne's "Rebirth" is a terrible album. This should come as a surprise to no one -- "Lil Wayne's rock album" was hardly a good idea to begin with, and the year of delays the album experienced before finally being unmercifully dumped onto store shelves today should have been an indicator that this project was toxic. Truthfully, it should have stayed buried forever.
What we have here is Wayne, the New Orleans rapper who makes more songs before 7 a.m. than most rappers make in a year, trying his hand at rock. Which isn't an altogether bad idea -- the Hood Internet once mashed up Modest Mouse's "Fire it Up" and Wayne's "Fireman" and proved Wayne has a born hipster's flare for indie rock -- but it's the direction he takes his sound that is problematic. Here, Wayne is mired in sludgy, dirge-y guitars that sound like bad Puddle of Mudd outtakes, and why he'd want to star in a sub-post-grunge nightmare is anyone's guess (unless it's his dream to get a song on the "Saw VII" soundtrack).
As talented as Wayne is, he is way out of his element here -- as awkward as Eddie Vedder in a studio session with Flo Rida. And for a rapper whose best moments come from lines that sound tossed off from the top of his head -- he could probably record a mixtape tonight that would run circles around "Rebirth" -- everything here sounds labored and overthought, and drenched in so much Auto-Tune that T-Pain should have to write a letter of apology to your ears.
There are precious few bright spots on the album, but "Drop the World," Wayne's duet with Eminem, is one of them. Em sounds electrified on the track, rapping in the same double-time style he employed on "Forever," his collaboration with Drake, Wayne and Kanye West, and proving he's still a beast when he acts like he has something to prove. The other standout is the cameo from Young Money scene-stealer Nicki Minaj, who pops up on "Knockout," a peppy, Avril Lavigne-like piece of mall-punk that is a temporary reprieve from the murkiness of the rest of the album.
Otherwise, "Rebirth" is almost a total washout. In a sense, you can't blame Wayne for wanting to change directions and stretch himself creatively, but you can blame those around him who never told him "no" or gave him the proper guidance to pull it off. This is the lamest, most self-indulgent vanity project in memory, an unfortunate folly in Lil Wayne's career arc. Consider it "Stillbirth." GRADE: D-
Classily, Conan exits 'The Tonight Show'
Conan O'Brien ended his seven-month stint as host of "The Tonight Show" on Friday by blasting not Jay Leno or the network showing him the door, but by tearing down something far more poisonous: the nature of cynicism itself.
"All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical," O'Brien said at the close of his show. "I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Earlier, he had the chance to rake NBC over the coals, which many expected him to do, but he took the high road and praised the network which, between his stints as a writer at "SNL" and as host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," employed him for more than 20 years.
"Yes, we have our differences right now. Yes, we're going our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life," O'Brien said. "I am enormously proud of the work we've done together and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible.
"Walking away from 'The Tonight Show' is the hardest thing I've ever had to do," O'Brien continued. "Making this choice has been enourmously difficult. This is the best job in the world, and I absolutely love doing it. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show,' and for seven months I got to do it. And I did it my way, with people I love. I do not regret one second of anything we've done here."
There you have it: no fireworks, no barbs, no venom-spewing at the corporate execs who sent him packing.
O'Brien left "The Tonight Show" the same class act he came in as. Friday marked a touching farewell for the man who has affectionately become known as "CoCo" during his short "Tonight Show" run.Friday's show was plenty of fun, too, as O'Brien's "Tonight Show" stint wrapped with an all-star jam on Lynyrd Skynyrd's lighters-in-the-air classic "Freebird," led by Will Ferrell and backed by O'Brien, his "Tonight Show" band, Ben Harper, ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons and Beck.
Earlier in the show, Tom Hanks -- the man who gave CoCo his nickname back in June on O'Brien's second "Tonight Show" broadcast -- dropped by and led the crowd in a "Conan! Conan!" chant. Steve Carell came out as a surprise guest and gave O'Brien a mock exit interview from NBC and Neil Young offered up a touching performance of his 1976 chestnut, "Long May You Run."
At the close of the performance, Young thanked O'Brien for "everything you've done for new music," acknowledging the shot he gave many young bands during his "Late Night" run.
There was also a brief montage of O'Brien's greatest hits from "The Tonight Show" set -- as was his opening montage, when he ran across the country from New York to Los Angeles -- to Cheap Trick's "Surrender."
In a way, O'Brien was surrendering, but he managed to exit "The Tonight Show" on his own terms. He was backed into a corner but found a dignified -- not to mention lucrative -- way to excuse himself from a no-win situation.
Though this period of his career is over, he should hang onto the feeling that has fueled his last two weeks of broadcasts. Creatively, he's been on fire during this whole fracas, reaching heights his "Tonight Show" wasn't able to capture during its non-tumultuous first six months. Whether he can carry that fire over to his new gig -- whatever that may be -- remains to be seen, but he's garnered a tremendous amount of public sympathy during this period and in many ways became the hero NBC execs hoped he'd become when taking over "The Tonight Show."
So ends one of the most exciting periods of television in recent memory. Sure, Letterman and Leno will likely still take jabs at each other, and peripheral players like Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon and Craig Ferguson may get in their digs from the sidelines as well. But as the late night landscape settles back into its comfortable patterns, don't forget that it was viewers who ended up being the real winners in this mess, and it will be a while before it gets this good again.
All yours, Jay.
Jersey Shore is over. Now what?
MTV's "Jersey Shore" finished up its first (only?) season last night, and it has yet to be determined what will become of the "Jersey Shore" franchise, or our beloved Snooki, the Situation, Pauly D and the rest of the GTL posse.
Here are five things I'd love to see happen to the "Jersey Shore":
1. Start fresh with a new cast. Yes, the magic of the first season will be incredibly difficult to recapture. But didn't we say that after the first season of "The Real World" too? "There will never be another Julie!" people cried. Now people can't even remember who Julie is. It's not a 1:1 comparison, of course, because "The Real World" was more built for sustainability than "Jersey Shore." But there's no doubt there's at least eight more highly quotable meatheads with fake tans waiting for their shot to battle the beat at Karma and pound some people's heads in while cameras roll. Find them and turn up the heat! It won't be the same; the "Jersey Shore" cast is like the first cast of "Survivor" (the Situation is Richard Hatch, Snooki is Susan Hawk, etc.). But just like "Survivor" (coming soon: Season 46!), "Jersey Shore" can live on past its cast.
2. "Jersey Shore Goes West." Take the same cast and put them in the MTV Beach House (do they still own that thing? And does Thom Yorke ever regret that look he rocked there?) for another summer of shenanigans, but this time on the Left Coast. If you think Ron Ron got into some skirmishes on the Boardwalk, wait 'til he meets the juiceheads at Venice Beach! Classic fish out of water scenario, hilarity and highjinks ensue. And if it's successful, season three can only mean one thing: "Jersey Shore in Calgary!"
3. "Snookin' for Love." This has to happen, preferably sooner than later.
4. "The Jersey Shore/ The Hills Challenge." Like "The Real World Road Rules Challenge," but with DJ Pauly D and Spencer Pratt. Any combination of these two casts is bound to make for Must See Junk TV. You could even throw the "Jersey Shore" and "The Hills" kids on one team and have them face off against contestants from "The Real World" and "Road Rules" (when was the last season of "Road Rules," by the way?). Can you imagine the explosiveness of the "Jersey Hills Road World" challenge? It would be nuclear!
5. "Jersey Shore 2: Back to the Shore." Put the whole cast back at Seaside Hieghts for another summer. It's uninspired and lazy, sure, but you'd watch it and you know it. The Situation abides.
Review: Nick Jonas finds his way
Nick Jonas performed Saturday night at a sold-out Fox Theatre in Detroit. On the surface, it looked just like a Jonas Brothers concert: Teenage (and pre-teenage) girls shrieked throughout the show and bounced so much they shook the building's balcony like it was made of rubber. But on-stage something different was happening, as Jonas was attempting to show and prove he's got the goods beyond being an object of pre-pubescent lust.
The verdict: He's getting there. He's definitely surrounded himself with the right band; the Administration is a tight group of industry vets, including two former members of Prince's band. And the songs from Jonas' debut album, "Who I Am" (due Feb. 2) have plenty of pep and step, and an infectious energy that builds off of the Jonas Brothers' shimmery pop rock.
But Jonas isn't straying too far from his home turf. Covers of Jonas Brothers' songs "Inseperable" and "Tonight" fit in neatly amidst his new material during the 90-minute concert, standing out mainly because fans sang along to every word (unlike the rest of the songs, which they haven't yet had a chance to devour).
Jonas showed he's got a working sense of music history, as he sprinkled in covers of Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours" and Rare Earth's "I Just Want to Celebrate," but he loses points for not mentioning from stage the Detroit connection to either. He also played a handful of songs that were hits over the last year, including Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody" and Owl City's "Fireflies," though the latter loses him several credibility points.
Mostly it was about the new album, though, and sturdy pop-rockers like "Rose Garden," "State of Emergency" and show-closer "Who I Am" let Jonas do what he does best: Make the crowd swoon. The Prince influence definitely showed on "Olive and an Arrow" and "Stay," the latter of which found Jonas at his most theatrical, emoting and stripping down to his undershirt while causing his fans to collectively lose their minds. Yes, he is very much still a teen idol and he is happy in that role; there was no restlessness or attempt to completely break free from his image. At 17 he's still got his whole life ahead of him, and plenty of room to grow into the artist he'll one day become. If he proved anything on Saturday, it's that he'll be worth keeping an eye on.
Top 101 Songs of the '00s: The Top Ten
Previously: Nos. 91-101, Nos. 81-90, Nos. 71-80, Nos. 61-70, Nos. 51-60, Nos. 41-50, Nos. 31-40, Nos. 21-30, Nos. 11-20
This is it, we've reached the top of the mountain! Without any further ado, I present my list of the Top 10 songs of the '00s, beginning with...
10. In Da Club, 50 Cent (Get Rich or Die Tryin', 2003)
50 Cent's street cred was already shored up by the time Eminem signed him to a record deal; his tale of being shot nine times was already a thing of legend before he sold one record. So instead of building on his invincible, SuperThug persona, 50 turned the other cheek and transformed himself into a party starter, toasting shorties on their birthday. Genius! (You can only sell so many albums by appealing strictly to dudes, just ask the Clipse.) 50's star has taken a considerable beating since his commercial peak in 2003, but one need only listen to In Da Club to revisit the effortless charisma and limitless potential he oozed on his first mass-market offering (Wanksta notwithstanding). 50 was out to have a good time but the threat of menace was never far behind; "when I roll 20 deep, there's 20 knives in the club," he reminds you, tersely. The not-so-secret weapon is Dr. Dre's caustic track, which never alleviates the tension in the room but gives 50 plenty of room to pop bottles in the VIP section. 50 went on to rake in hundreds of millions and become one of hip-hop's biggest stars, but artistically he was never this good again.
9. Beautiful Day, U2 (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)
Inspiration for bands everywhere: You, too, can come up with a career-defining global smash more than 20 years into your career! Now the fine print: You pretty much have to be U2 to do it. Nonetheless, the Irish rock group christened the 2000s with this skyscraper of an anthem, which stands side-by-side with "Where the Streets Have No Name" and "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" in the cannon of best-ever U2 songs. Beautiful Day takes a step back and appreciates the colors of life, beginning with a heartbeat, building to a stirring chorus and pausing to bask in the wonderment of canyons, clouds and "the tuna fleets clearing the sea out." The song took on added meaning after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, as All That You Can't Leave Behind became a sort of cultural rallying point for a healing America. But even without a calamity behind it, Beautiful Day is an affirmation, a ray of sunshine that takes pleasure in the joy of being alive.
8. Maps, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Fever to Tell, 2003)
With just a few simple words -- "wait, they don't love you like I love you" -- Karen O expresses all the loneliness and hurt she needs to in this "Yeah Yeah Yeahs love song," as it would come to be known. Karen O's vocal delivery is fragile and wounded; you want to cradle her and give her a hug as she begs her boyfriend not to leave on tour. Meanwhile, Nick Zinner's crashing guitar and Brian Chase's smashing cymbals express the frustration Karen O hints at but can't quite bring herself to muster. It's a valiant team effort, and a lovely song expressing the pain of what it feels like to be left behind.
7. Umbrella, Rihanna f/ Jay-Z (Good Girl Gone Bad, 2007)
Rihanna's Umbrella has become such a part of our culture that it's easy to forget how weird the "ella... ella... ay..." first sounded in 2007. And while Rihanna was certainly a known entity at the time of its release, she was far from the hit crafting megastar she would become in its wake. But that all changed with this, which sent RiRi into the pop stratosphere. The song -- passed on by several singers before it came into Rihanna's hands -- opens with a superfluous Jay-Z verse that's forgotten by the time Rihanna steps in, her cold delivery matching the song's robotic, almost cyborg production. The technology employed is counter to the song's warm themes of devotion; in a sense, it's a metaphor for human connection in our tech-savvy times. Credit writers The-Dream and C. Tricky Stewart for the layers of the song (there's even an Iraq war reference embedded in the song), and Rihanna's cool sexiness for selling it. And just try to deny that you've added your own "ella... ella... ay" every time you're heard or used the word umbrella since.
6. Paper Planes, MIA (Kala, 2007)
In 2007, MIA discovered the secret of uniting the disparate elements of our fractured culture: Bloggers, mainstream kids, indie rockers, hip-hop heads, Seth Rogen fans. The answer? Gunshots and cash registers. The Sri-Lankan rapper took the Clash-sampling track (from producers Diplo and Switch) and crafted the decade's best anti-sing-along hook, fashioned from gun blasts and ringing cash registers. Soon the song was appearing everywhere from the trailer to Pineapple Express to Slumdog Millionaire, and it laid the foundation for Jay-Z, T.I., Lil Wayne and Kanye West collaboration Swagga Like Us. Paper Planes is an immersive, genre-skipping blast that made everything it touched seem cooler.
5. Crazy in Love, Beyonce f/ Jay-Z (Dangerously In Love, 2003)
Was there ever a doubt Beyonce would leave Destiny's Child behind and go off to become a supernova-sized solo star? If there was, it was erased the moment the horns that open Crazy in Love first blasted across radio airwaves. Crazy in Love is a celebration, an exuberant carnival of elation set to producer Rich Harrison's impossibly rich, horn-flecked track. Beyonce struts her stuff and Jay-Z does his thing, no doubt, but truthfully JoJo could have taken this beat and crafted a smash with it. Which is to take nothing away from Beyonce, who co-wrote the song and has more than proven her worth in the pop/R&B field. But that track? OMG. We'll be lucky if the music at the gates of heaven sounds that welcoming.
4. Yeah, Usher f/ Lil Jon and Ludacris (Confessions, 2004)
Usher doing crunk? Sure, why not? Usher brought the burgeoning Southern rap movement to the masses with this searing 2004 hit and put Lil Jon, pimp cup and all, front and center in everyone's living room. Lil Jon's 8-chord synth backdrop is simple and effective, and the way he ramps up the tempo by heightening the anxiety in the chorus makes the song catch fire. Ludacris steps to the plate and brings everyone home with his typically bawdy 16-bar contribution, making this a 3-run dinger for the ATL. Peace up, A-town down.
3. Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson (Breakaway, 2004)
If American Idol never gave us anything else it would have been worth it for this, the best GNO -- Girl's Night Out -- jam of the decade. Clarkson's indelible spirit shines through on the Max Martin and Dr. Luke (double whammy!) produced smash, which crescendos with a jubilant, shout-along, fist-pumping chorus (and even finds room for some Nick Zinner-esque guitar shredding). It was dance pop with specks of indie rock, but no one dared dismiss it as shlock, because it was just too good to ignore. Clarkson forever endeared herself with this, and made good on the promise, and premise, of American Idol. Yes it's cheesy and commercial and pandering, but occasionally it works, and one Since U Been Gone is worth 1,000 Taylor Hicks.
2. Jesus of Suburbia, Green Day (American Idiot, 2004)
The heart of Green Day's career-reviving American Idiot was this 5-suite mini-opera, which crams themes of religion, rebellion, angst, revolution and revenge into its 9-minute running time. It's so dense that it's practically a movie unto itself, apart from the story arc of American Idiot. Basic plotline: Disaffected youth gets fed up with his hometown and hits the road. But what makes it so triumphant is the way Green Day goes for broke, working from a conceptual blueprint that would make Meat Loaf proud and taking a musical journey through punk and '70s rock, with the flash and flare of a Broadway showtune. Jesus of Suburbia upped the creative ante and proved what Green Day was capable of; suddenly, entire albums of theirs looked like trifles in comparison. Underneath all the attitude, was Green Day simply classic rock-loving theater kids at heart? Yep, and Jesus of Suburbia is a rock epic even the kids from Glee could love.
1. Lose Yourself, Eminem (8 Mile Soundtrack, 2002)
It's become known as hip-hop's answer to the Rocky theme, and the Oscar-winning song still conjures up a swell of emotions even now, seven years after it first debuted. Eminem rarely gets this serious on his own, it took him getting into his 8 Mile character Jimmy "B-Rabbit" Smith to concoct this tale about overcoming strife, believing in one's self and seizing opportunities before they pass you by. Em's flow is as languid as ever -- "vomit on his sweater already/ mom's spaghetti" -- remains one of his finest word-bending moments -- but he hits his creative zenith in the third verse, as he blurs the lines between B. Rabbit and Eminem and shows that the struggles between fictional wannabe rapper and real life chart-topping mega-seller really aren't all that different. Furthermore, the song's themes mirror the harsh realities that Detroit faced this decade, and the come-from-behind spirit many had to employ as the city crumbled around them. Character study, autobiography, regional anthem: How'd Eminem do it? Easy -- he lost himself.
Coming soon: Analysis of the Top 101!
Top 101 Songs of the '00s: Nos. 11-20
Previously: Nos. 91-101, Nos. 81-90, Nos. 71-80, Nos. 61-70, Nos. 51-60, Nos. 41-50, Nos. 31-40, Nos. 21-30
Almost there, kiddies. Remember, there are no losers on this list, only winners! So let's continue, shall we?
20. Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani (Love.Angel.Music.Baby, 2004)
American schoolchildren no longer have a reason to ever misspell bananas. Gwen Stefani's solo career quite frankly never sounded like that good of an idea, but she put naysayers to rest with a fun, breezy collection of hip-hop jams, topped by the hellfire cheerleader stomp of Hollaback Girl. The song never "meant" anything on a large scale, it was just pure pop escapism -- and man, was it fun.
19. The Rat, the Walkmen (Bows + Arrows, 2004)
Not angry, bitter. And dejected. And desperate to be heard. The Walkmen's 2004 screed was a wallop of hurt feelings that was shocking in its urgency and raw in its power. Frontman Hamilton Leithauser (great name!) opens up his wounds and bleeds over the band's bed of fierce guitars and machine gun drums, creating a war cry you never want to find yourself on the receiving end of. If someone is directing this song at you, you effed up.
18. Ignition Remix, R. Kelly (Chocolate Factory, 2003)
In 2002, Diddy (then P. Diddy) claimed "We" (meaning him and his Bad Boy family) "Invented the Remix." Categorically untrue, of course, but Diddy never did nearly as much for the remix as R. Kelly. Kells takes this remix business seriously, and brought the art of the remix to bold new heights with his Ignition Remix, which had little or nothing to do with the original Ignition -- a throwaway slow jam -- and broke down the fourth wall of the remix by proudly using the word "remix" in the chorus. "It's the remix to Ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen," Kells boasted, as if the original Ignition existed only to birth this far superior upgrade. (Curiously, Kells states in the song's opening moments that the song that follows is only a "previews of the remix" -- does that mean there's still more to follow?) Ignition Remix was one of the first songs Kells released after being slapped with child porn charges in 2002, and it's clear he had already begun to tumble down the rabbit hole of his own sanity. But it also kicked off the most prolific period of his career, and the song's "it's the friggin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun" refrain will continue to be a party M.O. as long as there are bottles to be popped at the end of a work week. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
17. We Belong Together, Mariah Carey (The Emancipation of Mimi, 2005)
The decade didn't begin auspiciously for Mariah Carey, who was nearly bombed out of pop culture with her disastrous turn in Glitter, her unhinged appearance on TRL and the blah reception to her blah album Charmbracelet. But in 2005 she pulled off a dramatic comeback thanks in large part to We Belong Together, which augmented what she does best -- ballads! -- with a contemporary hip-hop edge. Mariah had long been forcing hip-hop into her sound, creating often strained results. But We Belong Together is a perfect melding of her two sensibilities, an 808-backed love jam with enough bass to rattle the sidewalk. The second verse, which live blogs her thoughts as she flips through the radio dial, is outstanding, with her phrasing showing an Eminem-like dexterity as she bobs and weaves with the rhythm. It all builds to the earned vocal fireworks in the closing moments -- a signature Mariah moment and proof of her continued viability.
16. 99 Problems, Jay-Z (The Black Album, 2003)
Had he retired like he was supposed to after the Black Album, he would have done so with his legacy in tact. On 99 Problems, over a earth-shattering Rick Rubin instrumental that sounds like a leftover track from Licensed to Ill, Jay-Z asserts his lyrical dominance by telling three distinct tales, each ending with a different interpretation of the word "bitch." More than that, he simply rocks more than he has before or since. The Blueprint contained quieter moments of stirring soul and elsewhere he had bigger pop moments, but nowhere did Jay-Z sound more vital than on 99 Problems. You crazy for this one, Jay.
15. Seven Nation Army, White Stripes (Elephant, 2003)
After the success of White Blood Cells, it was time for the White Stripes to put up or shut up. Their response was Elephant and its lead single Seven Nation Army, and the rest is candy-colored history. Jack White said the song's title came from him mis-hearing the name of the Salvation Army as a child, and the idea of a Seven Nation Army and the power it implied stuck with him. Indeed, the simple bass line (that's not even a bass line!) that steers the song seems like an introduction to some sort of sinister force, like a coalition of skeletons Bruce Campbell would have to face in an Army of Darkness sequel. Meg White does her part by staying out of the way, making way for Jack to unload on his guitars like they owe him money. The White Stripes would go on to become one of the decade's most inventive, innovative bands, and this is its finest commerical moment.
14. Clocks, Coldplay (A Rush of Blood to the Head, 2002)
Chris Martin once said in an interview that he may not have partied the hardest or done the most drugs, but at the end of the day, he wrote Clocks. Sounds like he got the better end of the deal. Coldplay's signature tune is undoubtedly ambitious and larger-than-life, but manages to stay grounded thanks to its cascading piano riff and Martin's lilting vocals. Additionally, Will Champion's propulsive drumming keeps it on its toes and pushes it forward, rather than letting it slip into midtempo quicksand. A Rush of Blood to the Head took Coldplay to the proverbial next level, and Clocks that proved it was a band to be taken seriously.
13. Drop It Like It's Hot, Snoop Dogg (R&G (Rhythm & Gangsta): The Masterpiece, 2004)
By the early 2000s it seemed like Snoop Dogg had given hip-hop all he was going to give it, save for an -izzle here and maybe a humorous pot bust there. But when he hooked up with the Neptunes on this minimalist masterpiece, he emerged with what may be the finest moment of his career. The Neptunes' beat was revolutionary in its lo-fi, DIY simplicity -- it's a few tongue clicks, a clean drum machine beat, a slide whistle (for the Snoooooop bit) and what sounds like air escaping from a 2 liter of soda -- but its key is the way it was married to and built around Snoop's laid back delivery. Snoop has always been more about style than content, and Drop It Like It's Hot is all style, like a finely tailored suit. The song did something that hadn't happened since Dr. Dre gave Snoop a co-headlining billing on The Chronic: It made the D-O-double-G sound cool again.
12. One More Time, Daft Punk (Discovery, 2001)
French robots throw a house party that's like New Year's Eve 1979, 1989 and 1999 all rolled into one. A party jam for the ages.
11. Jesus Walks, Kanye West (The College Dropout, 2004)
Before he bumrushed Taylor Swift or the Hurricane Katrina telethon, Kanye West bumrushed hip-hop music itself, challenging and defying convention by making a club anthem about the most controversial topic of all: faith. Jesus Walks is a call-to-arms: A militaristic gospel jam that brings new meaning to the phrase take 'em to church. Kanye tackles the subject matter with humility and humor ("I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers, the way Kathie Lee needed Regis, that's the way I need Jesus") and builds to a rousing conclusion, wishing aloud the song would become a hit and "bring the day that I'm dreamin' 'bout, next time I'm in the club everybody screamin' out Jesus Walks." And against all odds, it did. It was then when Kanye established himself as a game-changer, a reputation he continues to build upon to this day.
Coming soon: The Top 10!
Top 101 Songs of the '00s: Nos. 21-30
Previously: Nos. 91-101, Nos. 81-90, Nos. 71-80, Nos. 61-70, Nos. 51-60, Nos. 41-50, Nos. 31-40
William Hung, if you're reading this, I'm sorry but you did not make the list.
30. Cry Me a River, Justin Timberlake (Justified, 2002)
Justin Timberlake airs his dirty laundry over a busy Timbaland track (raindrops! choirs! those weird belchy sounds he always has in his songs!) that's more custom built for drama than even R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" instrumental. Officially the song where Timberlake graduated from boy to man.
29. Heartbeats, the Knife (Deep Cuts, 2006)
The rubbery electro track enthralled indie kids and hip-hop heads alike, but the songwriting was tight enough to allow for Jose Gonzalez' hauntingly intimate cover version, as well.
28. Int'l Player's Anthem, UGK f/ Outkast (UGK, 2007)
Atlanta (OutKast), Houston (UGK) and Memphis (producers DJ Paul and Juicy J, from Three 6 Mafia) royalty converge on this regal Southern hip-hop anthem, which features bonafide classic verses from both Andre 3000 and UGK's Pimp C, who died several months after the song's release. Pimp C's contribution was later immortalized on Girl Talk's Feed the Animals album, when it was paired with the Spencer Davis Group's Gimme Some Lovin'.
27. Flashing Lights, Kanye West (Graduation, 2007)
A forboding, dark odyssey from Kanye West, who was obviously toying with hip-hop's boundaries well before his left turn on 808s & Heartbreaks. Flashing Lights is all about mood, and the feeling it creates is an unsettling mix of excitement, nervousness and restlessness.
26. All My Friends, LCD Soundsystem (Sound of Silver, 2007)
James Murphy's epic about friendship and growing old is organically built from the ground up and, one element at a time, swells over its 7-and-a-half minute run time until it feels like it's ready to explode. The Common People of the '00s, it's destined to be sung in pubs at closing time by aging hipsters for years and even decades to come.
25. My Love, Justin Timberlake f/ T.I. (FutureSex/LoveSounds, 2006)
Timbaland's stuttering synth funk sounds like it was created in the cockpit of the alien ship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Timberlake is at his smoothest and most confident, riding the complicated rhythm with the cool calm of a seasoned pro. Totally forward-thinking, are you sure this didn't come from the 2010s?
24. Stan, Eminem f/ Dido (The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000)
Eminem finds the dark underbelly of Dido's Thank You (who knew there even was one?) and uses it as a backdrop for an riveting tale of fandom run amok. The very last line rings false, but until then Em works with the storytelling skills of a master, measuring his voice and increasing his hostility and intensity as the stakes grow greater with every stanza. One of Eminem's finest moments.
23. Wake Up, Arcade Fire (Funeral, 2004)
Ambitious, grand, etc. What else can be said about the Arcade Fire's utterly gigantic mission statement from its 2004 debut? Perhaps its impact is best illustrated by U2, who walked out to this song every night during its 2005 Vertigo Tour, as if to say to the band, "you're one of us now."
22. A Stroke of Genius, Freelance Hellraiser (2002)
In this corner, teen pop starlet Christina Aguilera. And in the other corner, New York City rock revivalists the Strokes. Few would think the two had much in common, but a UK DJ going by the name Freelance Hellraiser mashed the two together and raised a little hell of his own, and effectively ushered in the mash-up era that would culminate with the ascendency of Girl Talk to Party Hero status. At its core, however, A Stroke of Genius remains just that, with the Strokes' "Hard to Explain" instrumental revealing the romantic yearning -- and not just the bubbling-under sexuality -- of Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle."
21. Grindin', Clipse (Lord Willin', 2002)
The Neptunes' gutter, bare bones instrumental -- it sounds like it was made from slamming car doors in an empty parking lot -- is the perfect stylistic backdrop for Pusha T and Malice's ice cold, emotionless coke raps, which are frightening in their authenticity.
Coming soon: Nos. 11-20!
Top 101 Songs of the '00s: Nos. 31-40
Previously: Nos. 91-101, Nos. 81-90, Nos. 71-80, Nos. 61-70, Nos. 51-60, Nos. 41-50
I think Friendster is going to make a comeback, you guys. Anyway, on with the countdown:
40. Hot Shit (Country Grammar), Nelly (Country Grammar, 2000)
Repping St. Louis harder than Ozzie Smith, Nelly introduced the world to his hood on this sing-songy hip-hop jam, which just happened to be about coming to your block and killing you. But at least he was willing to do it with a smile.
39. Float On, Modest Mouse (Good News for People Who Love Bad News, 2004)
The indie rock veterans were some of the least likely candidates for hit singledom, though it managed to find them with this upbeat tale about adjusting one's attitude to let good luck shine through in even the most unlikely of situations.
38. Party Hard, Andrew WK (Let's Get Wet, 2001)
Andrew WK is a party monster, and his magnum opus is singularly focused, all caps, on FUN. Like an explosion of joy, "Party Hard" grabs you, slaps you, throws you to the ground and picks you back up until you're crowd surfing on top of all of life's problems.
37. Hate it or Love It, The Game f/ 50 Cent (The Documentary, 2005)
Alternately fascinating and insufferable Compton rapper Game gets top billing, but it's 50 Cent's unnerving vulnerability and Cool & Dre's Trammps-sampling beat that make this collaboration one for the ages.
36. Star Guitar, the Chemical Brothers (Come With Us, 2002)
Incredibly easy to get lost inside, "Star Guitar" is a massive wash of sound that immerses and later drowns listeners in its watery clutches.
35. The Rising, Bruce Springsteen (The Rising, 2002)
At a time that begged for unity, musical or otherwise, Bruce Springsteen stepped up to the plate with his slow burner about resilience, heroes, and healing wounds. Springsteen's masterstroke is that The Rising is equally effective in times of great turmoil (the aftermath of 9/11) and great triumph (the election of Barack Obama).
34. Complicated, Avril Lavigne (Let Go, 2002)
Mall punk at its most poppy and, well, least punk. It was so catchy -- how many hooks does it have? It's tough to count -- that everyone assumed credit was due to producing team the Matrix, but Lavigne was vidicated with an arsenal of subsequent hits while the Matrix went on to do... well, what, exactly?
33. Thrash Unreal, Against Me! (New Wave, 2007)
A Beach Boys-esque chorus of "ba ba bas" is employed to accentuate this throat-shredding tragedy about a life on the skids. The band caught hell for supposedly abandoning its punk roots, but what's more punk than bumrushing the mainstream with a song about a heroin junkie's bumpy road to redemption?
32. Stay Fly, Three 6 Mafia f/ 8Ball & MJG and Young Buck (Most Known Unknown, 2005)
What Empire State of Mind is to New York, Stay Fly was to Memphis, Tenn-a-key in 2005. The city's grimiest players let loose over DJ Paul and Juicy J's hyperactive track, which is like horror movie crunk from your flyest nightmare.
31. Can't Get You Out of My Head, Kylie Minogue (Fever, 2002)
Ian McKellen's favorite disco diva (he said so on SNL!) hits paydirt with a spellbinding, steamy hot excercise in obsession. Over the course of four minutes, the song hits no peaks or valleys, it simply holds its pattern neatly in the center -- a taut play Lady Gaga will be lucky to ever match.
Coming soon: Nos. 21-30!
Top 101 Songs of the '00s: Nos. 41-50
Previously: Nos. 91-101, Nos. 81-90, Nos. 71-80, Nos. 61-70, Nos. 51-60
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50. Viva la Vida, Coldplay (Viva La Vida, 2008)
It's quite a feat to make lyrics like "I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing/ Roman cavalry choirs are singing" digestable, but Coldplay's anthemic 2008 smash does just that. Viva la Coldplay!
49. Still Tippin', Mike Jones f/ Slim Thug and Paul Wall (Who Is Mike Jones, 2005)
Candy paint and creeky violins: Welcome to Houston, where rappers repeat their lyrics like they have short term memory loss and have the Internet going nuts.
48. Feel Good Inc., Gorillaz (Demon Days, 2005)
Floating in the clouds high above everything else in the pop atmosphere, no song this decade felt less tied to reality.
47. Someday, The Strokes (Is This It, 2001)
So young, so vibrant, so cool. There was something nostalgic about Someday from the offset, but listening to it now is like looking at a snapshot of a time when the Strokes ruled the universe.
46. Bad Romance, Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster, 2009)
Gaga, ooh la la. Behind the costumes and outrageous set pieces Gaga is one hell of a songwriter, and "Bad Romance" -- which culminates with its thundrous, pulse-pounding chorus -- proves she's got the goods to back up the gimmicks.
45. Love In This Club, Usher f/ Young Jeezy (Here I Stand, 2008)
Doin' the nasty at the club doesn't make for the most romantic night on the town, but Usher lends the subject matter a touch of gentlemanly class, with a helpful assist from Polow da Don's masterful track.
44. What You Know, TI (King, 2006)
DJ Toomp's glacial synths and TI's barked ad-libs mark this defiant trap anthem, one of the first to back up TI's "King of the South" claims.
43. Guess Who's Back, Scarface f/ Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel (The Fix, 2002)
A rap legend (Scarface) teams up with a rap legend in-the-making (Jay-Z) and a young producer (Kanye West). The result? A vital, vibrant, ode to rock-slanging and the dope life.
42. Crazy, Gnarls Barkley (St. Elsewhere, 2006)
Cee-Lo Green and Danger Mouse done lost their mind with this eerie, paranoid mood-piece, which was utterly unavoidable in summer 2006. (Thanks to Atlantic Records' awesome embedding policies, I couldn't post a video here. So instead, here's the song set to a waterskier's home movies!)
41. California, Phantom Planet (The Guest, 2002)
We've been groomed to expect our regional anthems to come from hip-hop acts, but Phantom Planet flipped the script in 2002 and gave us alt-rock's version of "California Love." That it will be forever linked to the sun-drenched opening credits of "The O.C." seems perfectly fitting.
Coming soon: Nos. 31-40!
